Money Managers Gifts

'Our certificate of Deposit Interest rates may seem low, but I assure you, they are better than anything you can get by leaving your savings under the mattress.'

"Thanks for my pocket money Dad. But you forgot to add 17.5% VAT."

Man hugging bag of money, falling down a hole.

Money falling down a black hole

High Energy Accounts Only

'We'd like to roll over our allowance.'

Overdraft limit.

Milk Carton: Missing Your Nest Egg

Please enter your taxes.

'What a splendid collection of nest-eggs you've appropriated Sir John.'

Student loans - 'Mmmm, money. Just like Mom used to make.'

'Those with a lot of Money.'

Financial Counselor: On Vacation watch Suze Orman

"Looks like we can't afford early retirement. Even early death is getting out of reach."

"A secure and restful sleep is guaranteed when this mattress is stuffed with your own money."

"I gave everything to this man... everything! And what did he do? He cheats on me with a debt consultant!"

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Great Chinese Dynasties

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'