Money Manager Wannabe Gifts

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Money exchange

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

Overdraft limit.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

What is possible and what is probable.

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

Piggy Bank ATM

'Would it kill 'ya to index my birthday check to inflation?'

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

And your repayment period starts...Now!

Piggy bank...cash cow.

'I'm push come to shove. . .'

"So dude, how much ahve you saved up from your job?"

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

It's not our fault. We attribute your poor portfolio performance to fund malfunction.

"Think of it this way Jr., without debt you can't build credit."

'How about giving me one of those useless fivers you're always moaning about,Dad?'

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"