Money Manager Wannabe Pillows

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Money exchange

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

Overdraft limit.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

What is possible and what is probable.

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

Piggy Bank ATM

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

'Would it kill 'ya to index my birthday check to inflation?'

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

"Think of it this way Jr., without debt you can't build credit."

'I'm push come to shove. . .'

Piggy bank...cash cow.

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

"Our credit rating has improved. There's a pre-approved credit card in the report."

It's 10pm do you know where your 401-k is?'

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

Man goes from instant cash machine to instant spending.

"So dude, how much ahve you saved up from your job?"

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'