Mini Finance Whiz Gifts

'According to his stats, this right-fielder hit .317 and is 50 in stocks, 30 in bonds and 20 in cash.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"What's a debenture?"

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Soaring Profits

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

Dow Jones drop

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

Money exchange

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"What comes after zillion?"

"It failed the stress test."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'Wait a minute....!

"Today stocks hit a new high, just as global doom and gloom hit a new low."

'That's my boy...'

"Let's see now. This one goes right here."

Business News.

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

"..and if the chairman rings, find out who he is."

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Financial chart with frowny and smiley faces.