Little Kitchen Helper T-Shirts

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Allotment

"You're the lid to my pot."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

Baker Romance

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

Salt and Pepper

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Little chef.

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

Wedding Chefs

"I'm unable to process this image."

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

Child doing the washing up

Boy baking a cake.

Boys Cooking

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

"Are you as excited as I am?"

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

Scales

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

Instead of a cap and gown Mike got a hairnet and spatula.

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

Get me a bottle of house white. I need to clean the stainless steel surfaces.

'The two things you cook best are meatloaf and apple pie!... Which one is this?'

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."