Literary Skepticism Gifts

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

"God works in mysterious ways."

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

"When I die, I want to come back at anything except a book of short stories."

"I lied in my ad. I hate Wallace Stevens."

"What do the know!"

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

"'Take that,' growled the writer as the buyer for Borders slumped to the ..."

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

"I can see you drew heavily from your own bad writing."

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

'I'm looking for the book that tells how to be less materialistic without actually giving up any stuff!'

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

The Early Bird

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

Fairy narratives

"Ooh, get the quantum theorist hiding behind that tree."

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

Man reading a giant book.

'Our panel consists of the noted psychologist L.V. Trinnell, author and critic Helene V. Nogorski, and professor R Travers Wilcox.'

'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'

"Well, you call them fairy tales, I call them fake news."

"Science fiction? Boring! It's always about gravity and blue skies and two-legged aliens. I prefer non-fiction."

Book surgery.