Literary Misinterpretations Gifts

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Love at First Sight

"My guess it's guacamole."

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Orator translates in many languages.

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

"Would you like me to get one our experts to tell you what you think of it."

'You know, sometimes I think we don't even speak the same body language.'

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

'I see a castle and a seahorse. What do you see?'

'Mrs. Peterson. . . Sgt. O'Leary here, I'm afraid there's been an accident and your husband is in a comma.'

"I'm on break, getting a hot dog...guy in front of me drops dead...heart attack!!..........guess who they blame?"

'Okay I'll admit you do look foolish but on positive side you were only one letter out!'

Rude signing for the deaf. Dictator telling his people to f*** off.

"Well I say we go on without him..."

'...and then, when I asked if I could see her home, she showed me a photograph of her house.'

"Look, told ya – it’s a Romney poster!"

"That isn't what the doctor meant by 'push fluids'."

"Till now I always thought of the gravy train as a good thing."

'I sincerely thank you for your concern, but I'm only setting up a swing.'

'And here you can see one of the incredibly boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

'You idiot, I said 'ark', not 'park'.'

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"

'I'm not sure if I'm a vegan or not but I do only eat animals that are herbivores.'