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"I ask you, what would life be like without similes?"

Instructional guide to scribbling

The Shrinking Dollar.

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

Myths and legends...

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"Like that?"

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

'Wow, talk about genius!'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

Star Wars Audience

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"Hi,Honey - I'm Homeboy."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

Upper West Side Story

"This is off our first TikTok."

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

Nick Cave

Boarway Show

Arrest of La Tuta

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"I lost the hand to a shark, the leg to a barracuda, and the gallbladder to Dr. Steven Erlich."

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

'This is the kind of hat you wear to bed.'