Cultural Maven T-Shirts

"An intellectual is a man who can look at a Mondrian without thinking of Battenburg cake."

Instructional guide to scribbling

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

'Wow, talk about genius!'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

Star Wars Audience

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

The sunglasses.

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

Upper West Side Story

"This is off our first TikTok."

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

Carbon Dating

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

The hall of bad ideas.

Pigeons fly into an art museum and perch on sculptures.

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Gondolier

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

Nick Cave