Cultural Maven T-Shirts

"An intellectual is a man who can look at a Mondrian without thinking of Battenburg cake."

Instructional guide to scribbling

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

'Wow, talk about genius!'

Star Wars Audience

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

The sunglasses.

"This is off our first TikTok."

Upper West Side Story

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

Carbon Dating

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

The hall of bad ideas.

Pigeons fly into an art museum and perch on sculptures.

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Gondolier

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

Boarway Show