Literacy Advocates Gifts

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"

'You and your literacy programs! -- Now I'm getting lists of demands!'

Spell-Check Bee

Hate Platforms

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'What does it say, Dad?'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Common Core Family Therapy

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

About the curriculum. The contemporary novel from Austen to Dickens...

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'LOVELY school. But where's the library?' 'What's a library?'

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"I hope you're not reading fake news."

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

Good writing is good thinking

'Boy or girl, straight or gay - I don't care as long as it's science-literate and non-republican.'

Piorities in Minnesota.

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

'I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize for school custodian.'

'Can't you read?'

'Literacy is NOT overrated!'

No, when I say this is a teaching hospital, I mean it's completely full of traumatized teachers.

"The school board, meeting in regular session, was able to work everything into the budget except the teachers."

Car's bumper sticker reads: 'My other car is a bookmobile.'

Litterature

"And that's the day we said goodbye to the No Child Left Behind legislation and were free to teach again."

Woe Befall the Linguistic Interloper

Teacher reading.