Language Advocates Gifts

"Before you say anything else...I want to make it clear that I am a pioneer in the battle against reverse discrimination...and I will gladly be called whatever name you people have for me in my fight against bigotry of the worst kind."

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Campaign for Plain English

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

Meet the Enemy

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

The Family Joules: Part 21

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

'Stick them up...'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

'What does it say, Dad?'

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

Twitter censorship

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

Say it with flowers - available in any language.

Turkey to human dictionary - 'Quiet!!! You don't realize what you're saying!'

'Give it to me straight, Doc... is it pronounceable?'

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

Shrewsbury - pronunciation