Literacy Promoter Gifts

'Middletown Library: painting the town well-read.'

Hate Platforms

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'What does it say, Dad?'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"I wouldn't mind...But he's the teacher."

"I hope you're not reading fake news."

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

Good writing is good thinking

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"

Number of Overdoses in U.S. Continues to Incease

Make love not war

Spell-Check Bee

"But first, our national anthem."

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

'...how are you ever going to text.'

"Don't peddle your new book until the seminar's over."

'Literacy is NOT overrated!'

Litterature

Teacher reading.

'We want to be ready for when he starts to read.'

Car's bumper sticker reads: 'My other car is a bookmobile.'

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

'I'm taking post-graduate work to learn how to read at least the fifth grade level.'

"And that's the day we said goodbye to the No Child Left Behind legislation and were free to teach again."

'Don't worry, I'm just here to promote my book.'

Archers.