Reading Advocates Gifts

The war on illiteracy claims its first victim.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'What does it say, Dad?'

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

About the curriculum. The contemporary novel from Austen to Dickens...

A man and his dog both reading.

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

Monster Self-Help

'LOVELY school. But where's the library?' 'What's a library?'

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"

'Boy or girl, straight or gay - I don't care as long as it's science-literate and non-republican.'

Spell-Check Bee

Flower lamp.

'Jack wants to stay home and rad books, and I wanted him to take up roller skating, so we compromised.'

Piorities in Minnesota.

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

Tripled his reading speed with no loss in comprehension.

'I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize for school custodian.'

Books or Junk Food.

"They've worked out the can save money by sharing toilet reading material."

'Can't you read?'

'Literacy is NOT overrated!'

'When I was ready to read, they taught me to tie my shoes - when I was ready to tie my shoes, they taught me to read.'