Learning Advocate Gifts

'I don't know what plagiarizing is, so I'm gonna take the easy way out and just copy something off the internet.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Super Student

Hanging off every word...

'What does it say, Dad?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Common Core Family Therapy

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Staff Yearbook

About the curriculum. The contemporary novel from Austen to Dickens...

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

Another shot heard round the world.

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

'LOVELY school. But where's the library?' 'What's a library?'

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

'Dad taught me how to tie my shoes, and I taught him how to program the computer.'

Gold versus Knowledge

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'