Early Learner Advocate Gifts

'My parents didn't want me getting left behind in the system.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'What does it say, Dad?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Common Core Family Therapy

Staff Yearbook

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

First Word

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

Another shot heard round the world.

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

Gold versus Knowledge

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

Good writing is good thinking

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'