Early Learner Advocate Pillows

'My parents didn't want me getting left behind in the system.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

First Word

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Gold versus Knowledge

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

Good writing is good thinking

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

'Kids, you can all do it! Latest scientific research shows that you're smarter than previously believed.'