Learner's Advocate Pillows

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Super Student

'What does it say, Dad?'

Hanging off every word...

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

Staff Yearbook

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

About the curriculum. The contemporary novel from Austen to Dickens...

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'LOVELY school. But where's the library?' 'What's a library?'

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

Gold versus Knowledge

'Dad taught me how to tie my shoes, and I taught him how to program the computer.'

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'