Learner's Advocate Gifts

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Hanging off every word...

Super Student

'What does it say, Dad?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

About the curriculum. The contemporary novel from Austen to Dickens...

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Staff Yearbook

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

Another shot heard round the world.

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

'LOVELY school. But where's the library?' 'What's a library?'

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Gold versus Knowledge

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

'Dad taught me how to tie my shoes, and I taught him how to program the computer.'

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"