Teacher's Advocate Gifts

Santa and teacher.

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

Staff Yearbook

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

"Try letting the ball come to you."

Welcome to your new English Class.

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

Gold versus Knowledge

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."