Teaching Advocate Gifts

Teachers have to be bright enough to educate the next generation and dumb enough to do it for what we pay them.

"I believe teacher is beginning to rub off on me."

"The sad part is, if one of them becomes a big success, he'll say he was self taught."

"Our focus must be on the students. The professional learning community can't lose sight of the amateur learning community."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Common Core Family Therapy

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

Staff Yearbook

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

Another shot heard round the world.

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Gold versus Knowledge

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

Good writing is good thinking

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

Global Education