Early Education Advocate Gifts

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"Take my word for it, Jeremy - If you learn the alphabet, it'll just lead to the HARD stuff."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Gracie's baby toys.

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Common Core Family Therapy

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

First Word

Staff Yearbook

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

Another shot heard round the world.

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

'I've got to go, Mom -- my playgroup called an emergency meeting.'

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

'I was six before I realized there were things you could do with Play Dough aside from eating it.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Gold versus Knowledge