Child Education Advocate Gifts

"Please Miss, are the 'birds and the bees' polyamorous?"

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Coronavirus Impact on Children

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Common Core Family Therapy

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Early Learning Today

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

Boy scout replaces Atlas during Bob-a-Job Week.

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

Another shot heard round the world.

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Gold versus Knowledge

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Good writing is good thinking

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'