Training Advocate Gifts

Great training promotes a safer working environment.

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Common Core Family Therapy

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

"Try letting the ball come to you."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

I'm tired of your games, Al. MY games? look who's talking! The guy with the role-playing hand puppets!

Another shot heard round the world.

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

Gold versus Knowledge

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'