Liquid Alchemist T-Shirts

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Actually I was trained to be a chemist, but I'm learning fast.'

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

Barman In Love.

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

My first mistake.

"When you said you like to experiment in the bedroom..."

'Think outside the seed.'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

"Look, hon, I know both of our schedules have been crazy, but I still think we should take time out to consummate our marriage."

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

Alcohol Ingredients

'I'm worried that I might have slept through my 'fifteen minutes of fame'.'

"Garbage in, great books out."

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

'What is wrong with brother Sebastian?'

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

"Since I've been using this organic stuff my potions are far more effective."

"After all these years, I'm sure of only one thing: when I heat the liquid, it boils."