Love Alchemist T-Shirts

"Marry me, Virginia. My genes are excellent and, as yet, unpatented."

"Look, hon, I know both of our schedules have been crazy, but I still think we should take time out to consummate our marriage."

"When you said you like to experiment in the bedroom..."

Barman In Love.

"I thought we had chemistry, but he turned out to be acid."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

Sexual chemistry set

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

A sentimental woman talking to her lover on a ship

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

Pheromones.

Real Estate Personals

'You had me at 'C - R C = (2 x S X).'

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

"There's a rumour going around my head that you don't love me."

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

'You are crazy, but in a NICE way.'

"It's not what you think."

"God's Gift to Women?"

"My aloofness is a mask."

'John, this is where you should declare your underlying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'

Prozac, Lexapro and Lithium.

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

'We've been happily married for five years, but we've been married for eight.'

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

"That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard!"

"I know you're angry when you cross your arms."

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'