Amorous Alchemist T-Shirts

'Ralph developed a love potion at the lab, but then the dog drank it.'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Bear Costume

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"This will be hilarious!"

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

Barman In Love.

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

Romantic Tree Carving

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

Pheromones.

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

Science And Society 1923

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

"When you said you like to experiment in the bedroom..."

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'Wow - My kind of man.'

Perfect Match

'You are crazy, but in a NICE way.'

Lovers in ruffled dresses

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

"Look, hon, I know both of our schedules have been crazy, but I still think we should take time out to consummate our marriage."

"Well, I hope you're happy, Mr. Science Genius. Now you've killed your little sister."

Prozac, Lexapro and Lithium.

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"Garbage in, great books out."