Alchemical Aficionado T-Shirts

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Scientist admires his structure of a dog

Sexual chemistry set

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware Of.

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

Molecules you ought to be aware of...

"For the hundredth time—I have no idea how to make crystal meth."

Sir Earnest Rutherford splits the opium.

Greatly enlarged view of newly discovered particle.

'There's no fear of him making a Frankenstein's Monster out of this is there?'

"...9...8...7...6...5...4...3..."

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

Confusion in A Jar.

Laboratory- risk assessor

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

A man and a woman click together.

Alcohol Ingredients

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

The mysterious world of ligand substitution