Liquid Alchemist Gifts

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Actually I was trained to be a chemist, but I'm learning fast.'

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

Barman In Love.

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

My first mistake.

"When you said you like to experiment in the bedroom..."

'Think outside the seed.'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

"Look, hon, I know both of our schedules have been crazy, but I still think we should take time out to consummate our marriage."

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

'What is wrong with brother Sebastian?'

'I'm worried that I might have slept through my 'fifteen minutes of fame'.'

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"Garbage in, great books out."

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

Alcohol Ingredients

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

"Since I've been using this organic stuff my potions are far more effective."