Linguistic Guardian Gifts

Say 'no' to 'I done' and 'I seen'

"Ok, so you beat me at scrabble!"

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'No spell-check?? And you call this HEAVEN??'

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

Dentist Training School.

'No, Kevin -- there isn't any margin of error on spelling tests.'

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

"Harold died happy knowing he gained a certain immortality through social media."

'Ok...something, but nothing you'd care about. Honest!'

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

An expletive of editors

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

'I am the restless spirit of Aticus Mayberry, lexicographer and pedagogue. I shall not know peace so long as 'epitome' is used as a superlative.'

'I think maybe the spell checker wore out.'

See, no monster under your bed

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

The Good Student and The Mediocre Student

Men, there is no I in team! Seriously. I just got a text from your English professor, so go ahead and fix that in the playbook I handed out. (Pulished originally on March 6, 2010.)

"Get the story and get it write."

Bad Gramma Skool

"I'm not responsible for my mistakes in my essay. Spell check and autocorrect are responsible for my mistakes."

'You've forgot to spells check again...didn't you...'

"He was okay with the spell check but he gets mad when it starts to correct the arc of his narrative development!"

An angel in heaven is walking an angel dog.

'See that letter from Jones and Company? Nicely typed.' - 'Good grammar too.'

I'm sorry, sir, but the bill is correct. The sign says "Kid Seat Free," not "Kids eat free."

"Careful...she bites."

There's nothing like the real thing!

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