Grammar Guardians Gifts

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

The war against ignorance

I'm sorry, sir, but the bill is correct. The sign says "Kid Seat Free," not "Kids eat free."

"Get the story and get it write."

City Zoo: Day Care

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"He likes it."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

Bumble Bee

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

Biodiversity

"Ok, so you beat me at scrabble!"

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

'No spell-check?? And you call this HEAVEN??'

The new global mantra flag for the future

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

"Relax. They're just crows."

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."