Grammar Vigilante Gifts

'You appreciate that you have just used a split infinitive!'

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

At the school for Facebook trolls

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'No spell-check?? And you call this HEAVEN??'

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

'No, Kevin -- there isn't any margin of error on spelling tests.'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

Wrong ways to wear a face mask.

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

'Hacking into our system is one way to get my attention.'

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

An expletive of editors

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

'I hope he didn't write the menu.' (Pub quizzers comment on poor grammar)

'Maybe we can rob Peter AND Paul.'

"Not only a great painter but a pioneer in promoting the awareness of self-harming."

'I think maybe the spell checker wore out.'