Online Vigilante Gifts

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

Lynching on social media

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

The new global mantra flag for the future

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

You can relax now.

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

Guns won't help

Ebola Clinic

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

'Hacking into our system is one way to get my attention.'

"The jocks bullied me in gym class, so I erased all the data on their computers. They should know never to mess with a computer geek."

'Maybe we can rob Peter AND Paul.'

We Value Your Privacy (Actually, we value it at around $20 a pop for every organization we sell it to).

"I do wish they'd hurry up with that vaccine, so I can get back to worrying about dying of something else."

Swine Flu danger as a pandemic

"This one is for hacking into our enemy's hacks."

"Relax, it's not the killer-virus. It's 'Saturday Night Fever' so he'll be 'stayin' alive'."