Vocab Vigilante Gifts

'She wasn't hoydening when she chuffed arrack.'

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

Scarecrows guarding a field

The new global mantra flag for the future

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

You can relax now.

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

Guns won't help

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

Wrong ways to wear a face mask.

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

Ebola Clinic

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

'Maybe we can rob Peter AND Paul.'

"I do wish they'd hurry up with that vaccine, so I can get back to worrying about dying of something else."

Swine Flu danger as a pandemic

"Relax, it's not the killer-virus. It's 'Saturday Night Fever' so he'll be 'stayin' alive'."

Keep out - Covid-19

"Not only a great painter but a pioneer in promoting the awareness of self-harming."

'The opportunity to be fair and just is rewarding - but what I especially like is taking the law into my own hands.'

A knight fights the Covid-19 virus.