Variant Vigilante Gifts

"B.1.1.529!"

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

Scarecrows guarding a field

The new global mantra flag for the future

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

"Relax. They're just crows."

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

You can relax now.

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

Anti-Vaxer

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

"I can’t come to bed yet. I have bulbs to plant."

Guns won't help

Coronavirus dancing around an EU flag

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

Wrong ways to wear a face mask.

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

"Okay, Okay... the vaccine has side effects, but at least social distancing is guaranteed."

Ebola Clinic

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A garden Part 7

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

"What happened to what cat?"

"I do wish they'd hurry up with that vaccine, so I can get back to worrying about dying of something else."