Linguistic Defender Gifts

Are there any safe words? Covefe.

No Soliciting

A lock labeled 'freedom' covers a man's mouth.

The Cost of Censoring Free Speech.

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

A Change of Scene.

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

Social media and censorship...

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

Elizabeth Warren is kicked out of the Senate for reading Coretta Scott King's letter about Jeff Sessions.

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

Autocensure

Dog being carried off by ducks.

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'ANOTHER fatwah?! Who have you been sharing your thoughts with this time?'

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

"Sealed for your diets protection."

"I've been sent from the future to stop Harper Lee from complicating the legacy of a beloved fictional character."

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

Book Burning is Always Wrong?

"Looks like the universe isn't the only thing that' s expanding!"

"Whatever happened to freedom of the press?"

"We don't use the word 'crazy' in this office, Mr. Channing. Everywhere else, sure, but not here."

"Careful!—she'll become enraged if she senses the slightest threat to her clients."

Moderates Vs Progressives

EXPLAIN WHY YOU HAVE NOT REGISTERED WITH THE LOCAL POETRY OFFICE.

'I excuse my weight by saying I'm eating for three. Unfortunately, the twins were born months ago.'

My first pro bono case.

'I'm afraid he has sweeny flu.'

Pierre-Auguste Renoir - Portrait of the Artist Rebuked by Jesse Helms