Line Hater Gifts

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

Man burning his tie.

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

"Look, you guys call here all the time and we keep telling you - we don't tale telemarketing calls! If you call one more time, I..."

"Estella, you have the two most beautiful eyes in the world."

Confucius say: shut up.

"You don't seem to know your lines." "That's because I'm an understudy."

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

Patience Tested While You Wait.

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

Chocolate factory workers on the job - one with his face covered with chocolate - 'Your first day on the job...?'

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

Stand in the Q.

'Just like nature, I abhor a vacuum - especially when I'm working!'

Lover's leap - take a number and wait to leap.

Line Forms Here / Line Ends Here.

"I never use the Express Lane. I like to keep my money a little longer."

"Here's one - what gets shorter after a pandemic but stays just as long?"

The one thing about a queue is it keeps everyone in line.

"I had to eat a couple of people ahead of me in line, but, yep, I got the last chess set."

'I like being last in line. That way, I'm the last fool to part with his money.'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"There were only two things about Bryan that I simply could not stand - his breathing and is chewing."

'Sorry, there are more than eight frozen peas in here.'

Darn it, why do I always pick the slowest line? Hell.

Do you validate? What? No, there's not parking lot. It's just street parking and that's free. I know. But I came in to get a coffee yesterday morning at 7:59. The line was so long that I didn't get out of here till 8:02. Apparently you had street cleaning that started at 8a.m. I'm not following. It was your long line. The least you could do is validate the parking ticket they gave me. Get out.

Can't wait to get out of these heels and into my bunny slippers.

"When will you be back at the bank?"

Long queue.