Headline Hater Gifts

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Fear of news.

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

Newspaper suicide.

'Get up and put your house slippers on! - You'll be late for home school!'

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

'How fast can you hype?'

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

Big Newspaper Delivery

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

Man burning his tie.

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

"In financial news, stocks were down, bonds were up. In world news, democracies were down, dictatorships were up."

The Daily Fury

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"