Headline Avoider Gifts

'We'll just watch the bongs, then turn over.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Fear of news.

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

Newspaper suicide.

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

'How fast can you hype?'

Big Newspaper Delivery

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

"In financial news, stocks were down, bonds were up. In world news, democracies were down, dictatorships were up."

The Daily Fury

Newspaper

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'