Headline Absorber Gifts

Bad News, Really Bad News, Horribly Bad News, Devastatingly Bad News and Apocalyptically Bad News.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Fear of news.

Newspaper suicide.

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

'How fast can you hype?'

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

Big Newspaper Delivery

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

"... and come out fighting, boys."

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

The Daily Fury