Headline Grabber Gifts

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Fear of news.

Newspaper suicide.

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

Big Newspaper Delivery

'How fast can you hype?'

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

News for Sale

The Expert

Scientist seen on loch.

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

"These cartoons are insulting! I don't like it at all! I would never watch something that shows Latinos like this!"

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Magazine stand in middle of the desert.

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

Daily News Headline Writing Dept. Here's a story about a Colorado appliance salesperson involved in an auto mishap … "Denver blender vendor in fender bender!"

The Daily Fury

"In financial news, stocks were down, bonds were up. In world news, democracies were down, dictatorships were up."

Newspaper