Press Headline Grabber Gifts

'We're here to talk to your son about his website...'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Newspaper suicide.

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

'How fast can you hype?'

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

Big Newspaper Delivery

Scientist seen on loch.

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

"These cartoons are insulting! I don't like it at all! I would never watch something that shows Latinos like this!"

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

"In financial news, stocks were down, bonds were up. In world news, democracies were down, dictatorships were up."

The Daily Fury

Newspaper

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"