Limousine Lover Gifts

"Your more successful brother is already here."

Bumper Limos

'Excuse me, sir, but they need you in the stadium. You're on deck.'

Tips for cabinet ministers: Want to keep your limo? Add black curtains and pretend it's a hearse!

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

New Shoes.

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

A trevor of trainspotters

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Kensington Fluffies

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

Smart card.

"I understand the Everest climb used to be quite a chore."