Lilac Lover Gifts

"Who do we know who wears lilac corduroys?"

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Margarita

Knight in shining Lycra!

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

First love.

The Dandy

"I hate this time of year."

"Sorry, I can't. . . I'm really swamped."

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"They can steal my bike, but they can't take my dignity."

Ladies in Lycra

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

"Why do you wear green lipstick?"

Beach goer squeezes sun block tube and a t-shirt pops out.

Modern day mirror.

"That's brilliant Mr Beaver: These wooden platforms are a lot more durable than lilypads..."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'Please Pass the Moon Tan Lotion.'

Garlic, the wonderful stinking rose.

'So Grandma's arrived then.'

Endangered Feces: Prune Juice

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

'Was that your signature kiss?'

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

'Fancy coming back to my pad?'

"We're headin' into town. 'Course I'm gonna moisturize."

"It was an emergency, Officer. I had to phone my style consultant to ask which lipstick I should be wearing."

How I feel with....liquid matte lipstick, lip gloss and chapped bare lips.

"Do you suppose the planet's been saved yet?"

After an argument, they always kissed and made up.