Lilac Lover Gifts

"Who do we know who wears lilac corduroys?"

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Margarita

Knight in shining Lycra!

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

First love.

The Dandy

"I hate this time of year."

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

Modern day mirror.

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

Beach goer squeezes sun block tube and a t-shirt pops out.

"Why do you wear green lipstick?"

"That's brilliant Mr Beaver: These wooden platforms are a lot more durable than lilypads..."

'Please Pass the Moon Tan Lotion.'

Garlic, the wonderful stinking rose.

'So Grandma's arrived then.'

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

'Was that your signature kiss?'

Endangered Feces: Prune Juice

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

"We're headin' into town. 'Course I'm gonna moisturize."

After an argument, they always kissed and made up.

"There! Just like new!"

"It was an emergency, Officer. I had to phone my style consultant to ask which lipstick I should be wearing."

How I feel with....liquid matte lipstick, lip gloss and chapped bare lips.

'Fancy coming back to my pad?'

"Do you suppose the planet's been saved yet?"