Lavatory Lover Gifts

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

Archimedes statue with a lever

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

New Shoes.

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Clown waits for 'Happy Hour' to begin.

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Crab with a clown face.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

'The girls must be feeling better...'