Lavatory Lover Pillows

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Archimedes statue with a lever

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"This stool shall pass."

'Your reflexes are still good!'

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

New Shoes.

Crab with a clown face.

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

Clown waits for 'Happy Hour' to begin.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

Stephen Fry

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."