Laxative Lover Pillows

'Where will YOU be when your laxative starts working?'

Endangered Feces: Prune Juice

"Bad! He recommends both bran and prune juice!!"

"I AM at my usual position."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"We're here to experience pleasure."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Chillaxing!

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

The Dandy

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

My first mistake.

"Hang on — I'll go take off my work body and put on my comfy body, too."

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Prune Eating Contest: Last Man Standing.

'Please Pass the Moon Tan Lotion.'

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

Crumbs of Comfort

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Beach goer squeezes sun block tube and a t-shirt pops out.

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

"We're watching your side of the room with growing fascination."

'She's spring cleaning and you?'

Holiday,