Laxative Lover Gifts

'Where will YOU be when your laxative starts working?'

Endangered Feces: Prune Juice

"Bad! He recommends both bran and prune juice!!"

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"I AM at my usual position."

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"We're here to experience pleasure."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Chillaxing!

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

The Dandy

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

My first mistake.

"Hang on — I'll go take off my work body and put on my comfy body, too."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

Prune Eating Contest: Last Man Standing.

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

'Please Pass the Moon Tan Lotion.'

Beach goer squeezes sun block tube and a t-shirt pops out.

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Crumbs of Comfort

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

Tax haven.

Holiday,

Superman takes a vacation.

"We're watching your side of the room with growing fascination."

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."