Lap Lover Gifts

Michael Schumacher

Wifi in Hell

"This stool shall pass."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

“Can I have her now? Hey! My turn.”

"Hi,Honey - I'm Homeboy."

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.

Volcaniax

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

The Dandy

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Leap Frog

"I met my husband at a wedding. Everyone said he was the best man."

"She's missing out on her entire vacation."

"Nap time."

'Mathematician's Rap.'

Tired Woods

'It was worse than that ? I was slimed by a lawyer!'

"Papi, this says laughter de-stresses the entire body!"

Cat to second cat: 'I need you to sign a pre-nap.'

"And now to check the patient's reflexes."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'Marvin, you fell asleep in the hot tub again.'

'Tommy falls asleep in class.'

'Wake up, Mr. Granger, the doctor will see you about your insomnia now.'

"Phelps gives new meaning to the term 'early retirement'."

Iceland volcano

A cat draws a picture of a sleeping man

'I noticed there was nothing in the employee handbook about snacks, naps, or pet's birthdays.'