Lighting Technicians Gifts

'So you want a transfer from light fittings.'

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Early cyborg.

The Not-So Smart Meter

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Congratulations on your retirement!

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

Battery Lighthouse

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

Tedious Romantic.

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

Fixing the TV.