Lighthearted Health Enthusiasts Gifts

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"He looks so much like his dad."

'GM apples prevent Migraine'

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

'Like it? It's my digital vest, it calculates calories, portions and price per pound!'

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'I guess I don't need to ask how your new hip is working out.'

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

Stay away from Pigs.

"Wuhan virus, Ebola, West Nile, Asian Flu. . . what's wrong with good old American diseases?"

"GP or chemist? To be on the safe side let's go to A and E."

Eskimo to one with huge whale: 'You're sure it's all good cholesterol?'

Lard Lite - Marketing

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

'Medical researcher have isolated the gene that makes us want to discuss our ailments with anyone we meet.'

Anti-natal clinic - If you don't want to be pregnant.

God: 'Man has dominion over fish...beasts...and germs have dominion over man.'

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

Married people live longer

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"

"Nice try, buy candy corn is not a vegetable."